Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Littlest Stick

Oh please, I need some Bible verses on forgiveness. On the way bitter and ugly words hurt the soul.

Yes, honor thy mother and father. Oh, I have honored my dear, departed mother. I honor her every day. My father, on the other hand...that's more difficult. And I am ever-so-guilty.

We do not mesh well. We get along for a few months at a time and then something happens and one of us says something and then the other gets defensive, angry, and usually he jabs me with insults.

As a child, he criticized every little thing he did. If I were to twirl around as a little girl and say, "am I lovely?" he'd tell me my shoes were on the wrong feet.

Oh, I know he loves me. I know he does. And I love him.

But tell me. Please, Lord, tell me. How can I not feel the jabs when he calls me:


and that has been within the last 2 years. Nevermind my lifetime.

Oh Mom, I miss you and how you could explain this man to me.

Heavenly Father, I yearn for my earthly father to know You. To feel Your love the way I do. To know that I am a good person. To know me as an adult. My father just thinks I'm a screw-up. And I'm NOT.

Oh, Lord, I just want to break down and cry and have a temper tantrum. How dare he say those things to me! How dare he belittle me and whittle me down from a branch on a luscious tree to the smallest slice of a stick.

Lord, be with me. Walk with me as my father cannot. Soften his heart and have us both think twice before we use such words.

He is one of the biggest things that can make me sin. Sin as in harboring anger... even... sometimes... hatred. Wanting revenge. Wanting to jab him back with biting words.

Lord, forgive me and forgive this long road of entangled strife. Give us new life.

New life.


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