Watching this interview with favorite author, Ann Voskamp (an hour long - so worth it!)
Staying up too late soaking in the fresh breeze we are now able to feel through the screen doors which we've opened now that the heat has subsided.
I have the honor of assisting ministering at tomorrow's church service. This feeds an insatiable craving to serve on a larger level...
...and yet God still brings my gaze back to my husband and stepchildren and reminds me of my call to serve them first and foremost.
Thinking of the Sovereignty of God:
which, to me, means the Why's and praying for His Because's...which sometimes rest in silences
realizing, like Ann Voskamp said in her interview, my default is fear.
How I want to do all of this just right. I want to be a good wife, stepmother (I am a mother, in all practical ways), and mostly, a good and faithful child of God.
I care about and invest myself in helping the poor.
But do I show my dependence on Him for that which I lack here in my life?
At bedtime, I tell my 8 year old that God loves and takes care of her, but do I let my fear control me so that I am not showing that I believe and trust God to love and take care of me?
"I'm stumbling through it," Ann says. "It's not my default to get this right. My default is...I am fallen. And how do I intentionally reorient to the Cross, to Christ, and to Gospel again?"
So tonight, as I stumble over rocks which trip me up, rocks of my past, rocks of pain and heartache; tonight I cling to the Rock that is my Salvation and my Hope.
I pray that you are having a blessed and peaceful weekend, wherever you are.
And I am so grateful that we don't get it right all the time.
Because sometimes the sweetest thing is to be lovingly reorientated back to what matters most.
God lifts my head to Him. May He lift yours as well and bid you goodnight.