My First Year on Earth at 33

My quiet, earnest prayer for each of you,
in whatever bit of blessed and broken place you live this weekend, kindest friends…
your lives the sweet fragrance of a crushed and risen Christ…
~Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience

My birthday is today. I turn 33 years old, the age of Christ when he was crucified. I think of this and hear it as "the Jesus year." The year he died and the year he ascended. I read Ann's prayer for her readers and friends and loved ones and I smell the air - a bit of brokenness here, a bit of recovery there.

I smell the air and I smell birthday candles. A pizza in the oven. I close my eyes and imagine the heavy scent of incense. Sweat. The prayers that have been said on my behalf, by the people who know what I am going through.

I wish to send my prayers out to you, too. I apologize for not writing in so long. My road has been tough. But I send you the constant reminder that there is Someone who is greater and bigger than anyOne you've ever known.

Lean on Jesus. I am just learning how to do that.

My 32 years taught me that I could only lean on myself. Depend on myself.

Let my 33rd year teach me to close my eyes and seek Jesus.

In the year of death and resurrection, I will

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding

Proverbs 3:5

I wish for all of you giant amounts of faith and humongous-open-hearted love.

Thank you, God, for this birth day of mine.