Dear Weary Mom,
I'm weary of not feeling confident as a stepmother.
I think I may be far too paranoid and feeling far too childish. Far less equipped and far less ready.
Surely God must have meant for some other woman to come into these kids' lives, to fall in love with this man.
Because all I can see lately is failure on grand levels.
Surely God meant for me to stay in my hermit-like 1-bedroom apartment and live a solitary existence so I would not mess up any children with my insecurities and immaturity.
...Wow. Do you hear how awful that sounds?
First of all, that isn't a very kind thing to say about myself, is it.
Secondly, I am basically telling God, Maker of Heaven and Earth, that He messed up.
He got the wrong girl.
As if God could ever get anything wrong.
When self-esteem is floundering, take the "self" out of it and feel how you soar.
God esteems me.
When I am weary and burden-laden, when my identity gets thrown in the laundry with dirty and grimy clothes by the enemy of all of us, God whips me out, shakes the dirt off, claims me clean, and I start fresh.
Like mountain-spring-fresh. Grassy-meadow-fresh.
And if I just let God be my launderer, maybe I won't get so weary or lost. Maybe I will realize the Truth, as I do on my good days when I know God has called me here to these children, to this husband, for such a time as this.
I love the story of Esther and I especially love the unlikely heroism of it all.
I love how God chooses who we would consider the least qualified to do extraordinary things.
Do you feel weary?
God chose you to do the work you are doing BECAUSE of your weariness. No, not as a cruel joke, but because you show that you need God.
These Weary Mom letters are a blessing to each of us. They are not complaining sessions between mothers, they are love letters to God shared between women who do the hardest work.
They are letters of reminders, proclamations, clarifications.
You think God got the wrong girl?
God intimately knows each person He calls and He calls each of us to something.
And He's just loving these love letters floating all around the internet, around the neighborhoods, over your telephones.
It's a dichotomy: be weary no more
yet also continue to feel weary -
because both are a sign that we believe in God bigger than we believe in your own ability to carry it all.
**linking up today at Hope for the Weary Mom blog - I recommend the book of the same name, as well! Let's band together in our weariness and point to the God who gets us through it all!**